Atonement

His face was staring back at mine, frozen in its digital essence. The person had commented on the post of an online friend and, well, there it was, a link to his profile along with an accompanying picture. Pretty standard stuff as far as social media is concerned. Only the person whose photo was staring back at me through the computer screen stimulated a minor negative response within my psyche. He was someone I'd known in high school and who had engaged in some minor bullying.

Bullying is, unfortunately, commonplace. It can occur during adulthood, but seems rife during our youth. Beginning in fifth grade, right on through senior year of high school, bullying was often just a regular part of my school life. Some of it was slight (verbal taunting, etc.), while at other times it was more serious (threats, or actual acts, of violence). Again, this person's profile that I'd suddenly come across online was in the former camp. And yet it was enough for the connotation to be pessimistic.

Of course, I clicked through to the actual profile, the curiosity being too much, and found that the former classmate now appears to be leading a seemingly wholesome life. They have a family and, based on what I can tell, are affecting the lives of others in a positive fashion. This is good. This is, in fact, part of the fabric of human life. People change, sometimes for the worst, often for the better. They grow, learn and, hopefully, mature. I will take the surface-level trappings of this person's online persona and assume he has done the same.

This wasn't the first time I'd come across someone from the past, either virtually or in real life, who I hadn't the best impression of. In fact, my high school reunion from five years ago was a major experiment in the school of thought of life redemption, of the notion that we change for the better as we age. The ability to forgive is, of course, down to the individual, and how greatly they were impacted by prior treatment, though I have learned -- sometimes the hard way -- that letting go of anger and resentment can often be the best medicine for one's mental health.

I have, slowly but surely, learned to forgive, though I never forget. There's also the reality -- not as easy to accept -- that I, too, may be someone's negative reaction. People love to cast themselves as the victim, and yours truly has done so when it comes to being on the receiving end of bullying, but I have not been a saint by any means. No doubt there are those (hopefully very few) who hear my name or see my face and can't help but twinge, or groan, or roll their eyes in disdain. That's not easy to admit, but it helps to keep one grounded.

So I guess we all learn to live with old wounds, to the point that they affect us so little as to allow them to heal. There may be some scars that remain, but they serve to remind us how we have survived. Many of the people I have known for two or more decades are simply not the same now as they were them (though some, surprisingly, are). I can't claim to have removed all initial negative reaction toward them, but I strive to overcome such a response, for my sake if not for theirs.