Skip to main content

Worst Movies of 2016


I don't often make a worst movies of the year list, but this year has provided some real stinkers. Disappointments on many levels.

So, without further adieu, here are the ten movies (in alphabetical order) that would be best avoided from 2016....


Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice



From the title, which conveys a court case more than it does a superhero skirmish, to the convoluted plot and the least convincing "Is he really dead?" ending of all-time, to the lame way in which the two heroes resolve their conflict, this movie just stunk all around.



Blair Witch


The found footage phenomenon, pretty much founded by this movie's predecessor some 17 years ago, is played-out. Along with that, this isn't so much a sequel as it is a re-telling (hey, if folks are gonna knock Force Awakens for it, this movie has to qualify, too). And, look... I know that characters in horror movies make notoriously bad decisions, but the ones in this movie take the cake.


The Boy


I really thought I'd like this movie. Set in a secluded British mansion, with a strong performance by Lauren Cohan of the Walking Dead, I was willing to roll with some of the film's more mysterious elements. Unfortunately, the last act completely rips apart (pretty much literally) any shred of dignity the movie might have had.


Everybody Wants Some!!



Now, it's iffy that this movie makes the cut. It actually does what it sets out to do (I guess), which is really the hallmark of any (creatively) successful film. Alas, I will always feel duped by this movie, as the critics and reviews made it out to be so much more than what its trailers made it out to be. Alas, it was exactly what its trailers made it out to be, and that was a fairly mediocre horny college kids movie. We've seen this all before.


The Girl on the Train


You may be surprised to see this one on the list. This is mainly because I found the movie tedious and wondered what the point of it all was. Also, there's not really one likable character in the whole thing.


Independence Day: Resurgence


I'm such a fan of the original movie and. even though I'd heard some not-so-good things about this one, I went prepared, but open-minded. And, it sucked. I mean, there's parts of it that are kind of good, but for the most part it's a retread of the original, and a pale copy of it at that.


Knight of Cups


I don't even know where to begin with this one, folks.


Lights Out




Another horror movie makes the list. This one simply wasn't that engaging, and features a sacrifice by a character that -- I guess? -- was supposed to be emotional, but simply left my thinking, 'About time!'


Love & Friendship


A pastiche of Jane Austen novels, I found this movie to be jarring. Set a couple hundred years ago, the pacing and mannerisms are very modern day. The dialogue goes by at a fast clip, letting many of the "jokes" get lost in the shuffle. Oh, and none of the characters are all that likable.


Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping



Mockumentaries about musical groups (see: This is Spinal Tap) can be good, when all the right bits come together. Unfortunately, this wasn't an example of such an endeavor. Unfunny and not engaging, this movie may have been the worst of the year.


And, there you have it. You could give all of the aforementioned films a miss, and not miss a beat. See Swiss Army Man, Moonlight or Hell or High Water, instead.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If You Could Read My Mind

Dance clubs are a funny thing. They contain within their walls a life force and vibrancy sometimes unmatched anywhere else. When dusk settles and the lights come on, people will flood the dance floors to gyrate to music with hypnotic beats and songs about love, lust and fun at the disco. At gay bars, this sort of scenario usually increases ten-fold. It isn't for everyone, but for many it is a respite from the harsh realities of the real word. It is a place that isn't just a structure, but a sanctuary where folks -- minorities in their own communities -- can take shelter and unwind with abandon, at least for a few nighttime hours.
As someone who benefited greatly from such an aforementioned gay dance club, you can imagine my dismay at news of the closing of Chester Street Bar. In business for over three decades, gay-owned and operated, there was a time when C-Street (as it was known by most) was the only haven for those in the LGBT community, near and far, to enjoy themselves …

3/4

Ok, we're now three-fourths of the way through this year's calendar, so I thought I'd rank the thirty-eight 2017 movies I've seen so far.

Here they are....


1. A Quiet Passion
2. Baby Driver
3. Dunkirk
4. Get Out
5. Kedi
6. A Ghost Story
7. Wonder Woman
8. Columbus
9. Brad's Status
10. Marjorie Prime
11. Maudie
12. Logan
13. Spider-Man: Homecoming
14. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2
15. Brigsby Bear
16. Atomic Blonde
17. The Big Sick
18. Split
19. Kong: Skull Island
20. It
21. Wind River
22. A Cure for Wellness
23. The Hitman's Bodyguard
24. Norman
25. Kingsman: The Golden Circle
26. Logan Lucky
27. Alien Covenant
28. Ghost In the Shell
29. War for the Planet of the Apes
30. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
31. Life
32. Annabelle: Creation
33. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
34. My Cousin Rachel
35. Baywatch
36. The Bye Bye Man
37. mother!
38. It Comes at Night


It will be interesting to see what the last three months of the year brin…

Unbound

"Step out from the mask you stand behind Fearful lost and blind Time to take the time The pressure’s on you Hide away, hide away No tomorrow, just today"
- Brilliant, Ultravox
Today was National Coming Out Day, so of course it gives some pause for reflection on my own coming out story. It was in April 1993, my junior year of high school (go Chargers!). In the six years of writing this blog, I have alluded to how I came out, but never really delved into the intricacies of how it came about. What better day to do so than today?
My first (small) indications of homosexuality manifested in grade school. While in first grade, I thought a fifth grader looked cute. In fifth grade, I would stare, longingly, at a boy in class, until he caught me looking at him. There were some infatuations with boys in middle school, and a first sexual experience during freshman year of high school. Everything up to that point had been, for the most part, based in the physical realm. I liked the way certain…