Skip to main content

They Know Not What They Do

What is forgiveness, and how important is it really? defines forgiveness thusly:

forgive [fəˈgɪv]
vb -gives, -giving, -gave, -given
1. to cease to blame or hold resentment against (someone or something)
2. to grant pardon for (a mistake, wrongdoing, etc.)
3. (tr) to free or pardon (someone) from penalty
4. (tr) to free from the obligation of (a debt, payment, etc.)
[Old English forgiefan; see for-, give]
forgivable  adj
forgivably  adv
forgiver  n

I seek not to understand forgiveness in any religious sense, for I am not religious, but in a common world view of things. Is it necessary? Is it important? Also, and perhaps most importantly, is forgiveness something that is done more for ourselves, or for the other person(s) involved? Does forgiveness need to be an internal, as well as external, act? Does someone have to ask for our forgiveness in order to provide it to them, or can it be unsolicited? And, finally, does everyone deserve forgiveness?

These thoughts occur to me from time to time. There are many occasions in life where we have both the choice to forgive, and to accept forgiveness from others. We are none of us perfect. I have wronged others, and they in-turn have wronged me. In many ways, we are probably not aware that someone has forgiven us our trespasses, nor that we have trespassed. This does make me wonder if forgiveness is a very personal act.

In my own life, there are those whom I could forgive, whether they be peers from school who made life hell on a daily basis through their bullying, or my deceased father whose hand was quick with the belt and whose words were often poorly chosen, to certain political opponents who've lacked graciousness and thoughtfulness. In all of these cases, I have forgiven, yet have not forgotten. One wonders if that is truly forgiveness?

And what of my own trespasses? How many have I wronged? How has it affected them? I am aware of some instances, but very likely not aware of many others. Is that normal, or particularly callous? Part of me wants to know the answers to these questions, part of my does not. Because, to be blunt, the past is past. Perhaps that is what forgiveness is all about?


Popular posts from this blog


Ok, we're now three-fourths of the way through this year's calendar, so I thought I'd rank the thirty-eight 2017 movies I've seen so far.

Here they are....

1. A Quiet Passion
2. Baby Driver
3. Dunkirk
4. Get Out
5. Kedi
6. A Ghost Story
7. Wonder Woman
8. Columbus
9. Brad's Status
10. Marjorie Prime
11. Maudie
12. Logan
13. Spider-Man: Homecoming
14. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2
15. Brigsby Bear
16. Atomic Blonde
17. The Big Sick
18. Split
19. Kong: Skull Island
20. It
21. Wind River
22. A Cure for Wellness
23. The Hitman's Bodyguard
24. Norman
25. Kingsman: The Golden Circle
26. Logan Lucky
27. Alien Covenant
28. Ghost In the Shell
29. War for the Planet of the Apes
30. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
31. Life
32. Annabelle: Creation
33. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
34. My Cousin Rachel
35. Baywatch
36. The Bye Bye Man
37. mother!
38. It Comes at Night

It will be interesting to see what the last three months of the year brin…

If You Could Read My Mind

Dance clubs are a funny thing. They contain within their walls a life force and vibrancy sometimes unmatched anywhere else. When dusk settles and the lights come on, people will flood the dance floors to gyrate to music with hypnotic beats and songs about love, lust and fun at the disco. At gay bars, this sort of scenario usually increases ten-fold. It isn't for everyone, but for many it is a respite from the harsh realities of the real word. It is a place that isn't just a structure, but a sanctuary where folks -- minorities in their own communities -- can take shelter and unwind with abandon, at least for a few nighttime hours.
As someone who benefited greatly from such an aforementioned gay dance club, you can imagine my dismay at news of the closing of Chester Street Bar. In business for over three decades, gay-owned and operated, there was a time when C-Street (as it was known by most) was the only haven for those in the LGBT community, near and far, to enjoy themselves …


"Step out from the mask you stand behind Fearful lost and blind Time to take the time The pressure’s on you Hide away, hide away No tomorrow, just today"
- Brilliant, Ultravox
Today was National Coming Out Day, so of course it gives some pause for reflection on my own coming out story. It was in April 1993, my junior year of high school (go Chargers!). In the six years of writing this blog, I have alluded to how I came out, but never really delved into the intricacies of how it came about. What better day to do so than today?
My first (small) indications of homosexuality manifested in grade school. While in first grade, I thought a fifth grader looked cute. In fifth grade, I would stare, longingly, at a boy in class, until he caught me looking at him. There were some infatuations with boys in middle school, and a first sexual experience during freshman year of high school. Everything up to that point had been, for the most part, based in the physical realm. I liked the way certain…