Persuasion

Early last week, Kevin Drum wrote a blog post about debate. Specifically, Drum proffered the the view that most people aren't swayed by truths, or a logical laying-out of facts, but instead by feelings and sentiment. This resonated with me as 1) I agree with it, and 2) most folks agree with it, as well, but would deny that they do.

Let's first look at a salient quote from Drum's piece:

"Sadly, people are not persuaded by facts. They are persuaded by emotions. They are persuaded only when they're listening to someone who shares their worldview. They are persuaded by "arguments" that are beneficial to them - perhaps monetarily, perhaps in conferring status, perhaps in vilifying people they already didn't like. This is how you win in real life."

I'm not sure it's always been this way. It feels like (there I go with feelings) people are more hardened in their beliefs now than they used to be, though that could just be a trick of memory. Regardless, a lot of (most?) people do seem fairly less persuadable these days. And, presenting them with reasoned arguments doesn't seem to do much good.

This plays into something I've thought for a long time, which is, specifically, the mantra some folks espouse that they love it when someone "tells it like it is." This is a misnomer, as what people usually mean by that turn of phrase is that they like it when someone says things they agree with, and typically do so with a bit of a blunt edge. Oddly, whenever I've brought this up with individuals before, there is sometimes pushback. Honestly, folks have never been able to fully elucidate their reasoning for why they bristle at the idea, though I have some suspicions. 

We like to think of ourselves as individualistic. Free thinkers. Some people pride themselves on how much research and thought they put into the opinions they hold. And, sure, we are certainly capable of shaping our own opinions and convictions about everything from politics, to religion, to the economy, to child-rearing.  But I would argue that a lot of how we think is very much environmentally-based. It comes from who raised us, and how. It comes from where we grew up. In other words, it comes from a lot of things that are beyond our control, even when we try and control it.

Several people who read the preceding paragraph are probably bristling a little, thinking to themselves, 'Well, I don't know where Matt's coming from with that. He's just wrong! I think for myself, thank you very much.'  It's not an unexpected reaction and, to be clear, I'm not saying we can't think for ourselves, only that we're carrying with us a lot of baggage in order to do so. And that's okay. Or, at the very least, it's pretty common. I was influenced by my mom and dad, teachers, friends and classmates growing up. So, likely, were you. They don't call them "formative years" for nothing.

So, when someone says something that we like and agree with it, and perhaps says with a bit of snarl and a little attitude, we cheer. That person is telling it like it is! But a different person saying something we disagree with, using a similar demeanor? Well, that person's just wrong. And perhaps a little rude, too. Therefore, we don't really enjoy it whenever a person espouses an opinion confidently and bluntly - we merely like that they were cocksure when saying something that we happen to believe. Of course, that doesn't paint us in quite as righteous or virtuous of a light.

And, when Drum talks about how we are persuaded by emotions, alas, I think he's right. Maybe "persuaded" isn't the right word, but we certainly seem to get locked-in on various positions or convictions, based on feelings, passion and their corresponding intensity. Sometimes, this can even prove contradictory. There are many examples of this that we probably share, and may even be ashamed to admit.

I'm not sure how we get better at this? Part of the difficulty is that a wide swath of us don't believe this is our own issue - we think other people have this problem, but not ourselves. Once we're able to get past that fallacy, then the next step is to find a way to be emotional and factual, both with our intake, and how we come across to others. I think it's possible, but not necessarily easy.