Left to my own devices

The sexuality of one's friends isn't something I think about often. Well, why would you? The interests and commonalities we share with our platonic companions is enough to sate any curiosity we may have about them. We share our lives with them, talk about our days, perhaps recall moments that were shared together, and maybe discuss our plans for the future. The gender of their attraction isn't necessarily of paramount importance.

M y dad died twenty-two years ago today. He has now been gone for longer than I knew him. The other day I was thinking about how much of a factor time plays in the effectiveness of our relationships with people. While it is certainly important, I think it plays less of a role than we give it credit for. The bonds we forge with people can be made relatively quickly, their intensity dependent upon a multitude of factors -- time being only one of them.

Obviously, Star Wars didn't teach me everything there is know about life, but it certainly helped. I can recall watching the Darth Vader / Luke Skywalker clash in Return of the Jedi and thinking of my own problems with my father. The older I get, the more I identify with Obi-Wan Kenobi, particularly when he's urging caution at following the supposedly stray tie-fighter, but the younger, impetuous Han Solo won't listen. And, the sequel trilogy struck me with the already-creeping realization that the vicious circle of good vs. evil is cyclical, rather than final, in nature.

"When are you going to hug me?" - character of Elton John, in Rocketman "I long for your inscrutable pale face I hunger for your beautiful embrace" - Pet Shop Boys, King of Rome Physical intimacy is an often taboo subject for discussion. It either happens or it doesn't. It is not something that people often examine in great detail, therefore, it's probably an odd topic for me to write about. Still, I am fascinated by our interactions, and why people are the way they are. So it goes. Being physically close with someone doesn't come naturally to yours truly. I am always conscious of whether or not to initiate the interaction, whether it be romantic or platonic. Who knows? That may be the way it is for everyone, though sometimes I will witness two people -- often two friends, and often two women -- embrace each other as though it were second nature, as though it were simple and honest and the right thing to do. Perhaps it was, for...

I recently watched the new movie, The Farewell , and it got me to thinking. Starring the versatile and talented actress Awkwafina as the main character, Billi, The Farewell is, on the surface anyway, about a family saying goodbye to their matriarch. Billi's grandmother, known as Nai Nai, has been diagnosed with cancer and given months to live. The entire family (Billi's parents, cousins, aunts and uncles) stage a hasty wedding as an excuse to get everyone together. Billi and her family are originally from China, and the film's conceit is that, in Chinese culture, sometimes a family will shield a loved one from news of their own mortality. Nai Nai's family have done this with her. Billi (and others) struggle with this. The Farewell is a fine bit of cinema, and what struck me most about it wasn't the aspect of hiding Nai Nai's illness from her, but the notions of time and place that run as a current -- both verbally and unspoken -- throughout the movi...

I have been plagued lately with a feeling of exhaustion. It is not, I think, a sensation of true fatigue, as that is a medical condition that consists of (among other things) unrelenting weariness. This sense of feeling utterly tired comes and goes, and isn't constant. So there goes the self-diagnosis. It's accuracy is anyone's guess. The causes of the exhaustion are many. The first quarter of the year was usurped by a campaign for re-election to public office. That took a physical, mental and emotional toll. The summer has seen many excursions out of town to various places, for various reasons. While all of the trips have been under the guise of fun, they haven't provided much downtime. Work has been extremely busy. It seems like there hasn't been a period yet where it's been like: Ok, now we can catch our breath . Then there is the seemingly never-ending struggle with navigating the waters of friendship. There's a part of me that never seems to be...