Left to my own devices

Well over twenty years ago, I made a mistake. It wasn't my first, and it certainly wasn't my last. This one, like so many others, was well-intentioned. It also resides completely within my own heart and mind. It is something which has been part of my psyche since the late-nineties, but today it envelopes my thoughts to a fairly large degree. Allow me to explain. My dad died twenty-six years ago today. He knew he was sick for almost the last year of his life. During that time, I would visit with him, in an attempt to finally connect with him on a deeper level. It didn't really happen, and there was a lot of anger and resentment on my part about it for a long time, but now I'm glad to have at least made the effort.

My childhood home went on the market last week (already under contract, apparently), and episodes 9 and 10 of Star Trek: Picard season 3 aired last month. Neither one of the aforementioned things at first appear as though they would have anything in common. And they don't, at least not to most people. For yours truly, however, they both represent a fondness for a certain era of the past.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" That was something kids seemed to be asked a lot when I was growing up (which is becoming increasingly further back in time as the years go by). I'm not sure if that is a question commonly put to children today, but it was, for me, a pretty exciting query. At least during my single-digit years. It conjured up an open landscape of possibilities. I don't know.. perhaps I'd be an astronaut? An artist? Mayor? When I entered my teenage years, and began high school, the question -- no longer posed as much by adults, but more to myself -- generated anxiety more than anything. It was crunch time. Crap - what do I want to be?

Last month, I announced the nominees for the 26th annual  Matt Awards , where I highlight my favorites in film from the preceding year. And now, finally (we're pretty late with these this year), here are the winners for the 2022  Matt Awards ! They are... 

Like so many others, I first met Jean Breeze when I was five years old. She would've been thirty-six at the time. Nearly forty-two years later, our time shared on this earth has come to an end. Jean was a kindergarten teacher at Westview Elementary School in Champaign, Illinois. Her classroom -- at least when I was there -- was at the north end of the school, facing John St. It had a row of windows that let in the sunshine, and it was filled with educational materials, toys and various knick-knacks accumulated over the years. We would take naps there every day. Ms. Breeze would read to us daily. It was a fun place to be. I remember my year there fondly.

The first Matt Awards were dispensed in early 1998 (now a quarter-century ago). By me. On my trusty old Brother word processor. No one else really knew about them. I might have read them off to my mom, or my friend Terry, but they were really for me. They were born out of frustration for how the Oscars typically doled-out awards. Basically, I wanted to have my own opinions about movies - something I do regularly over on the Mashley at the Movies podcast . An annual occurrence since they began, I enjoy doing the Matt Awards each year. Sometimes, I do both nominations and then, a few weeks later, pick the winners. Some years, I just go straight to the winners circle. This year, I'm really late - later than I've probably ever been - on getting to these awards. Life's been a bit busy. So, here's what we're doing: This post will be the list of nominations for the 2023 Matt Awards . Then, in a few days, I'll make another blog post with the winners. Sound ok? Cool, ...

My dad, Lewis, was born on this day in 1945. He would have turned 78-years-old today. As regular readers of this blog may know and remember, he died aged 52. Too few years, though more than some. While it's true that sometimes I give March 21st a brief, passing thought (or have even forgotten its significance altogether), this year it looms more prevalent within my psyche, probably because of my mom's recent passing. So, here I am, writing another blog post about my father.