Left to my own devices

The late, great film critic Roger Ebert once noted (and I'm paraphrasing because I can't find the exact quote at the moment) that one of the benefits of relationships is that the other person acts as a sort of mirror to our lives. He was mostly referring to romantic couplings, though I think this can be expanded to encompass parents, friends and other platonic relationships. Indeed, sharing experiences with people helps create a collective memory, or sorts. These shared memories can help us bond, both in the moment and later on down the road, as the memories are recalled, hopefully fondly. What happens, however, when age and time begin to ravage the memory banks of our compatriots? Or, perhaps, ourselves? In reality, memory is often variable, and no two people will have exactly the same recollection of events. And yet, when one of those involved in the same situation begins to have no remembrance of it at all, then that is truly saddening. It is depressing for them, and...

"It is when he thinks he's past love It is then he meets his last love" I once knew a man who went through relationships like they were going out of style When yet another connection with someone had broken down, he'd say something along the lines of how he was really too busy to be with someone, anyway, so it was probably for the best they were splitting-up. And, yes, he was a very busy man, of that there was no doubt. What I always asked myself -- but never the friend directly -- was, "Why do you keep entering new relationships, then? If you know you're too busy for them, then why do you engage in these Sisyphean undertakings? You're not only hurting yourself." Alas, that friend was not unique. There are plenty of people who sometimes seem to be on emotional auto-pilot, never thinking much about what it is they want or need when it comes to romantic involvement. Of course, there are the opposite folk, the people who will sometimes...

I was somewhat taken aback recently when I learned that a single friend doesn't care very much for the company of couples. It is difficult not to take personal offense at this, being part of a couple, but then I took a step back and thought about the various types of people who I know and prefer to associate with socially. And the reasons why. It was an enlightening self-analysis.

What is your ideal living situation? Is it influenced by how you were raised? Do you come from a large family where having others around is pretty much all that you know? Or is your background more of an only child situation, and you enjoy peace and seclusion when you can find it in your adult life? Or are you someone who can bebop along and go with the flow? Roommates/no roommates, doesn't matter. These may seem like fairly innocuous questions, but our living situation can be of great importance to our everyday well-being, so it's sometimes worth a look. I was raised as an only child, for the most part. Technically, I have half-siblings, but they are from different marriages my father had, and we were not raised together. Being raised without siblings could be lonely at times, but it was all that I knew, and so it worked. When I wanted company I would seek out playtime with friends. Sometimes it was successful, other times not so much. Kids can sometimes be cruel, or b...

It is my contention that trust is overrated. We as a society seem to put a lot of faith in the concept of trust, whether it be in our business dealings, interpersonal relationships, or political leaders. I'm not saying that it is meaningless, or useless, just that we tend to rely too heavily on it. Trust, in and of itself, is not necessarily a good thing. Allow me to explain.

It is one of the cruel ironies of life that, sometimes, the same fate befalls us as has befallen generations before us. Each generation seeks to do better than the one that came before it. And, at times, it does. Other times, it simply succeeds at excelling in one area, while faltering in another. Such is life. One area that I've always expected my generation to do better at is in relationships -- romantic ones, specifically. Don't ask me why. This wasn't even something I was aware of until fairly recently. As a child, we are often witness to the curious goings-on of the adults around us. Sometimes, but not often, this includes a glimpse into their relationships.