Left to my own devices

A little over twenty years ago, I was talking on the phone with a friend. He is African-American, and gay. We were discussing male celebrities we found attractive, and he asked me about a particular one, who happened to be black. I don't remember who it was, but do remember saying that he wasn't my type. My friend offered a gasping protestation, to which I responded that I simply wasn't attracted to black men. This drew a remark of, "That's racist," from my friend. The aforementioned conversation has always stuck with me, and returned to mind recently while reading an article about racism within the online gay dating community (and, no doubt, within the offline gay community, as well). Basically, if you're not Caucasian, then you'll likely face some barriers to acceptance. And, sometimes, the automatic rejection based on race can be cruel. One could argue that someone who would cruelly dismiss another because of their ethnicity isn't wor...

A recent ruling by a judge  allows for bar owners (among others, I'd guess) to remove Trump supporters from their establishment because there is not, apparently, protection under the law for political discrimination. Whatever side of the political aisle you fall on, that surely has to be a somewhat eye-opening factoid. More so than the ruling, itself, I've been intrigued by the online chatter about why certain folks have been okay with the decision. Discussions I have read seem to center themselves around why it is okay to allow political exclusion, but not okay to ban someone from someplace because of their ethnicity, or sexuality. The latter two factors are, many argue, not a choice, while someone's politics are most certainly chosen. The aspect of choice, it would seem, is what dictates punishment or praise. It is also, I would argue, not a great way of determining what we accept, or don't accept, about people.

My late, maternal grandmother, Gummy, whom I loved very deeply and still miss to this day, was a bit of a conservative. On the one hand, that isn't so odd, since she grew up and lived most of her life in rural Illinois, during a time (she was born in 1928) that was already more traditionalist than the world we live in today. She also believed in life after death, reincarnation and alien visitations, so conversations with her ran the gamut, and that's one of the things I liked about her.   I mention Gummy because film aficionado and TCM host Robert Osborne passed away yesterday, aged 84. That may seem like a non sequitur, but the one made me think of the other because the two came from the same generation, and it has come to (public) light that Osborne was gay, and I remember how my grandmother treated the subject of homosexuality on occasion.

Those who know me, or are long-time readers of this blog, know my high school story. Graduated in 1994, spent the last semester learning via home bound education because of the incessant bullying (some of it due to my sexuality), and I didn't attend the graduation ceremony because, frankly, I was done with it all, and did not feel comfortable going back to the school. That was a pretty low time in my life. Later that year (December of '94 to be exact), I turned 19 and was legally able to go to bars in Champaign. The night of my nineteenth birthday I went to Chester Street Dance Club, a local gay night club, and ended up spending many weekends there over the next few years. While time spent at C-Street contained a fair amount of the drama and tumult one would expect when a bunch of gays and lesbians get together, it's fair to say that it served as a wondrous haven and safe space where one could just be comfortable within their own skin. I cannot over-express the ...

In a recent episode of AMC's The Walking Dead , that mega-popular series about surving during a zombie apocalypse, the Governor of Woodbury ordered the firearms confiscated from his town's citizens. This was seen by some as a furthering of what they consider to be a conservative agenda fostered by the program. Others disagree, simply citing it as a storytelling tactic. Regardless of the gun confiscation issue, the argument can be made that The Walking Dead is somewhat conservative in nature. This is neither praise nor a rebuke of the program, simply a (subjective) observation. Of course, I'm conflating conservatism with how it manifests itself within modern day America and, also, within the Republican Party. That in and of itself could be cause for an argument.

We lost a ground-breaking, iconic astronaut this week. Sally Ride passed away from pancreatic cancer, leaving behind an inspirational legacy to women everywhere, as well as a same-sex domestic partner of 27 years. The revelation that Ride was in a long-term lesbian relationship with Tam O'Shaughnessy wasn't common knowledge, but in the wake of her death, it has become public fodder, for better or worse. I don't want to write about whether or not I agree with Ride's decision to keep her private life private. It was not our decision to make, and we must respect that. Yes, it's nice when public figures come out, as it often shines a more positive light on gay & lesbian culture, but it's really no one's business, unless the people involved choose to make it so. Instead, I want to talk about the reaction to Ms. Ride's life after her death, from people specifically opposed to the life she led for (at least) 27 years.