Left to my own devices

We all mark time in different ways. Anniversaries and celebrations for this or that event, or a particular occasion. Relationships are often top of the list. Growing up, wedding anniversaries were often the major milestone I witnessed people took the most note of. There are even particular gifts designated for each year of wedded bliss. Unfortunately, society was to erect roadblocks to marrying the person of my choice, at least for several years. Same-sex marriage was something done piecemeal for awhile, before finally being legalized nationwide by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2015. And let's not forget the precursor to same-sex marriage, civil unions. Those were also done haphazardly, on a state-by-state basis. What the aforementioned scattershot approach has meant for same-sex couples across the nation is that there are often several different anniversary dates, and not borne of choice. Ashley & I alone have four anniversary dates (when we met, a commitment ceremony...

Recently I came across an article that served as both an interview of late British actor John Inman, and a promotion of his then-new TV show Odd Man Out . Produced during a hiatus of Inman's hugely popular BBC program Are You Being Served? , this was a series that provided his first starring sitcom role, albeit it on the ITV network. Alas, it flopped, and was canceled after only seven episodes. What is of note from the aforementioned article is how much it seems to focus on Inman's private life. It mentions the mews house he purchased in Little Venice (what he described as the first home he'd ever owned), and how he was still a "bachelor" at age 41. Inman died aged 71 in 2007. The article was from 1977. At the time of his death, the actor had been with his same-sex partner, Ron Lynch, for 35 years. I'll let you do the math. Of course, hiding one's homosexuality is nothing new. Folks such as John Inman would have had to contend with a nosy medi...

When Justice Kennedy wrote the majority opinion this summer for the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on what was essentially marriage equality, he centered his writing around the concept of "dignity." This raised eyebrows with some, as Justice Thomas espoused that the government was incapable of providing anyone with such a feeling, continuing on with a ramble about slavery. Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who has been in the news of late for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, would seem to agree with that line of thought. Davis added that “I don’t think dignity is guaranteed in the Constitution. I think dignity is something that you find within yourself. I feel really sad that … someone could be so unhappy with themselves as a person that they did not feel dignified as a human being until they got a piece of paper. I mean, there’s just so much more to life than that.” This coming from a woman who got herself  four  pieces of that paper. ...

The Alabama state senate recently passed SB377 , by a 22-3 vote, which seeks to end the practice of state-licensed marriages. For everyone. Period. A blog known as the Tenth Amendment Center reported favorably on the measure, and as this is an issue near and dear, I wanted to take a moment (or two) to go over their thoughts on the subject, and then offer mine in return. I don't normally like to do this here, but felt it was necessary in order to clarify a few things. Here we go...

So much is happening in the United States at this moment. Strike that -- so much is always happening in our country but, this week, it feels like more than usual is taking place. Such is the power of the media, I suppose. Regardless, the riots in Baltimore have left me agonizing over the state of race and police relations, and the commencement of same-sex marriage arguments in front of the US Supreme Court has left me feeling anxious for the future of marriage equality in our country. The fact that these events are occurring at all is both sad and remarkable. It's sad that, in 2015, we're still torn apart by racial conflict. It's unclear how many centuries need to pass before we learn to treat each other with respect, whether we're wearing a uniform or we're simply an average citizen. It's remarkable that the societal discussion of same-sex marriage has reach SCOTUS in such a relatively swift manner, given the fact that it was a very taboo subject (esp...

Reading about the 1994 movie Stargate (as you do), and it's recently announced reboot, I happened upon a Wikipedia page all about white saviors in film . This particular concept was new to me, although I've heard variations of its theme before (the counterpart being the Magical Negro ). In short, the white savior narrative in a film features white characters saving black characters from some sort of terrible situation or oppression. Movies that are generally agreed to fall into the white savior category are 12 Years a Slave , The Help , To Kill a Mockingbird and The Blind Side (among many others). Interestingly, a movie I saw over the weekend, Belle , is considered by some to buck the white savior trend. The film centers around Dido Belle, a mulatto whose father was from English aristocracy. She is raised by her uncle, Lord Chief Justice William Murray, and his family. In an article about Belle from The Daily Beast , the following passage is of note: " Be...

I've been immersed in the world of cinema the past few days. The 16th annual Roger Ebert Film Festival has been taking place in my hometown of Champaign-Urbana, Illinois this week. Ashley & I have been to every festival since 2001. So many great movies have flashed across the screen of the Virginia Theatre during the long days of the festival over the years. Last night saw director Spike Lee host a screening of his 1989 classic Do the Right Thing . It was my first time watching the seminal film about race relations in America, and it definitely provided food for thought.

My 5th day of gratitude was a derailed slightly by the delightful news out of our state capitol that marriage equality is finally going to become a reality. Thus, today, I give thanks for my birth state, the place I call home -- Illinois. 30 Days of Thanks, Day 5: Illinois The Land of Lincoln has been my home for (gosh) nearly four decades. It was where I was born. It may be where I die. It's what I know. The midwestern sensibilities, the changing of the seasons, the hot summers and harsh winters, the good people of all ages and political stripes and, last but not least, it's great location. We're situated either on the western fringe of the eastern U.S., or the eastern fringe of the midwest, take your pick. From where I live, it's a fairly quick drive to three major cities. Can't beat it.

Some minor history was made a few days ago when an active NBA player came out of the closet. 34-year-old Jason Collins of the Washington Wizards admitted he was gay to the media, and the response thus far has been mostly positive . Presidents, both current and former, along with celebs and other notables have publicly given their support to Collins after his announcement. Some have questioned why it should even be news that an NBA player is gay. Of course, it's news because of the context of the world we live in, wherein many who are gay or lesbian still feel uncomfortable with being open about who they are, and with gay marriage still being a hot button issue in many states and countries. It's news because we don't live in a perfect world, in which a person's sexuality shouldn't really matter.

We lost a ground-breaking, iconic astronaut this week. Sally Ride passed away from pancreatic cancer, leaving behind an inspirational legacy to women everywhere, as well as a same-sex domestic partner of 27 years. The revelation that Ride was in a long-term lesbian relationship with Tam O'Shaughnessy wasn't common knowledge, but in the wake of her death, it has become public fodder, for better or worse. I don't want to write about whether or not I agree with Ride's decision to keep her private life private. It was not our decision to make, and we must respect that. Yes, it's nice when public figures come out, as it often shines a more positive light on gay & lesbian culture, but it's really no one's business, unless the people involved choose to make it so. Instead, I want to talk about the reaction to Ms. Ride's life after her death, from people specifically opposed to the life she led for (at least) 27 years.