Enjoy the Silence

Sometimes someone says something and it doesn't appear to make a lot of sense. It's not that they're speaking gibberish. We aren't suddenly worried about their cognitive function. More like a non sequitur. That, or you simply think what they said was a tad odd. This happened recently and, as I was on a walk later thinking about it, the thought occurred to tap into some empathy.They could, potentially, not have known what to give voice to in the moment, and therefore said whatever came to mind. Some people may not know how to handle silence.

True silence is a rarity in our modern world. We are constantly surrounded by noise of some sort, whether it be the low hum of power (devices, heating, air conditioning, etc.), the click-clacking of a co-worker's keyboard, people talking, the rumble of a subway, a child making noises, what's on the TV, or the music in our earbuds. The continuous creep of noise can be insidious in that it robs us of the ability to know what to do in its absence. It is one reason we are often left breathless when ensconced deep in nature, only the light sounds of wildlife to attune our ears to. Or, in perhaps more common situations, when there is a lull in a conversation.

Silence can sometimes be a death knell if we're talking about a dating situation (not that it necessarily should be). If two people are on a first date, and there suddenly comes a moment where no one is speaking, then heart rates increase, nerves rattle, and eyes begin to dart furtively around the room, thinking of something -- anything -- to say, lest the already nagging feeling of doom be confirmed by further quietude. Of course, there's nothing wrong with a noticed hush between people. It feels like we're programmed not to believe that, though, which is a shame.

There are some people, where they be friends or romantic partners, who share such a rapport that there is often very little, if any, quiet times between them. The conversations flow freely, and that is fine. I, however, do not mind some down time with another person. There would seem to be nothing wrong with soundless moments between two people. If anything, I think it reveals a comfort, a sense of trust and relaxation, shared by those involved. If I can be quiet with someone, then I often feel a greater connection with them.

It isn't easy, of course. As mentioned earlier, it feels like we are artificially conditioned to fear the lack of constant sound, whether it be industrial or humankind. And while it is true we are social creatures, I would argue the sociability can extend to simply being in one another's presence, without the need for sustained verbal communication. Not talking while being with someone can, at times, be a thing of great contentment, something to be cherished and embraced, not feared. We should learn to enjoy the silence.