It was one of those situations many of us have found ourselves in. We're in a group setting, and the dreaded, 'Why don't we introduce ourselves?' suggestion is proffered. So, everyone sitting at the table introduces themselves. The tone is set with the first few introductions: name, followed by what they do for a living. Pretty standard stuff. Unfortunately, this caught me in the midst of one of those 'Who am I really? What is life all about?' moods, so I wasn't really feeling the meet and greet session.
Eventually, we come around to me, and it's just my name. That's all I cared to give. The leader of the group seemed perturbed, so I caved and offered-up where I work. They then followed that by mentioning another organization I'm a part of, and my role there. It was all very awkward, and no doubt I came-off a bit odd to the new person in the group. Regardless, presenting ourselves -- first and foremost -- by our jobs has always bothered me.
Our lives are on shifting sands. Very few things are constant. We have to really work at sustaining the things we want to keep going in life. This is all to say that, ten years ago, my introduction would have been somewhat different. Twenty years ago, it would have been very different. No doubt in five, ten, twenty years' time, it will have morphed yet again. If we are to persist with the standard 'name/what we do type' of introduction, then it almost feels like it would betray who we once were, and who we might become.
Or perhaps I'm on the wrong track?
We all like labels. We also like to rail against them. But labels -- used innocuously -- are a quick, easy way for us to learn about those we do not know. Of course, with those labels comes preconceived notions of what the people we meet might be like. So it goes. All of that is to say, I get it. I understand why we present ourselves by fast and uncomplicated methods such as a job. It can say a lot about a person. Then again, it can say very little.
And that brings us back to my mood that day. It was a result of a long-building tension of trying to juggle who I am with what I do. The latter is pretty straightforward. The former, not so much. I know my parent-given name, obviously. I know my likes & dislikes, interests and (maybe) talents, but what does it all mean? After four decades, I still don't know. Perhaps all I am -- perhaps any of us are -- is a collection of thoughts, actions, ideas, situations and genomes that are trying their best to make it work? Maybe?
Philosophers have been pondering this for millennia, so I'm unlikely to solve it anytime soon. More's the pity.
Comments
Post a Comment